The Dilemma of Morality

We Hindus today have a big dilemma and that is how to address morality issues when it comes to women. In the past, adhering to morality was automatically expected of women but most of the times, no one mentioned what actually was morality. Victorian morals were more or less enforced on us too and were generally accepted as the hallmark of morality, especially for women. Dressing modestly, returning home before nightfall, being religious, staying true to one partner, not answering back, not indulging in affairs, remaining a virgin before marriage, etc. were all part of this and since a lot of this was expected in Hindu Dharma too, it was accepted by society and women who followed all this were considered paragons of virtue.

But when the girls started stepping out of the house to study further or to go out to work, when girls came to money via their own efforts, it was obvious that they started questioning why all the moral issues were to be followed only by them and not by the boys or men. This started creating a great conflict in homes and society in general and the terms “liberal or modern” and “traditional” started being used everywhere sometimes as a slur and sometimes as a label of how a lady or girl was viewed in general. But the matter did not end here. When a “liberal” lady became very successful and married an equally or more successful man, and stayed faithful in her marriage (atleast in public eye), all her past was promptly forgotten and she was now labeled “traditional”. Conversely, if a “traditional” woman opposed any popular opinion/leader/boss, she would now be labeled as “liberal” because her views did not match the views of the majority. We see this happening often with respect to women from the film/tv/media/politics/modeling industry and also with respect to women on the top in Business. This skewed view has made hypocrites of us and made us take sides in public, ignoring all the efforts put by the lady in question, to rise to the top. Suffice to say that “It is still a man’s world and many women follow the opinion of the men in their lives, subduing their own voice.”

Two recent events that made me question morality occurred in my social media interactions. The first happened on Twitter. A reputed doctor who constantly supported Traditional Hindu issues and criticized the party in power for not attending to these issues, was supposedly doxxed and her detractors revealed that she had married a non Hindu in the past. Though no evidence was provided for the same, many twitterati thought it correct to abuse the lady for claiming to be a “Traditional” when actually she was “Liberal”. The second instance was with respect to an upcoming YouTuber and Podcaster who has been putting out fantastic content regularly. I was surprised that though her content was good, it was not picked up much though in this case, she was a supporter of the party in power. Recently I heard some horrid news making the rounds that she had acted in a “bold” film earlier and so she was to be shunned or not promoted. Imagine my surprise when I came to know that it was a short film made with friends and was not a porn film and had no nudity either. It was obvious here that the objection was because she was making good content which was different from what was usually pedaled by the cronies of various political parties, and probably not seeking money or favours from the political parties. This was enough to brand her morals as “questionable” because she had made an offbeat “bold”, romantic film in the past. Such a horrible situation to be in! You work hard to come up, earn honestly and then face this. These people who were passing rumours were the same people who were considering Katrina Kaif as “traditional” now and Kangana Ranaut as “perfect example of Hindu Nari”. Not that either of them deserve any labeling but just that the irony is too much to be digested.

I am very much for staying within the normal norms of morality for both men and women, but to label only women as having “loose morals” is just an indication of a rotting society. In any case, both these strong women have taken things in their stride and will continue on their path successfully I’m sure, because while the others are throwing stones at them, these women are using them to make bridges to make friends with humanity. As far as the stone throwers go, well, they still have dreams of taking over the world and are wondering why they are not successful…